sheloveddd

Farewell

2009-09-10T04:29:00.000+08:00

As I said in my previous post,
blogger is getting annoying.
I've found a new space.
So toodles.

Thanks to the handful of you for reading my blog,
I appreciate all the tags and comments.
So, thank you very much.

Take care.
Love.

blogger is very annoying

2009-09-08T16:16:00.004+08:00

Firstly,

I love you, Lavanya. PDA.

And so many people are going to NS now.
The intake's now, and of all the people,
the first to enter NS is MOKANEHNEHPOK.
So. bye Mr. Wall. Be safe, have fun.
& I'm so going to miss your hair.

Next week, my brother, Ghaz, Othniel (cousin), Mohaan are leaving for NS. Good luck, good game. Then in December, this other paandi will leave. Then it becomes good game to me. AHAHA.

Anywayyyyy..

This is Mr. Gentleman of the year! :)
My favourite.
I know, I know. We're not supposed to have favs.
BUT! Everyone does.
I can't even count the number of times he hugged me on the last day of attachment.

AND MY LATEST ADDICTION: Fish a fish.
Play the game on facebook if you have no life.
But I think, I'm the only one with no life. ):

Yesterday went to Vivo with P to watch Final Destination 4 3D. Wah, damn disgusting and disturbing.
And, P accidentally tore my $10 note. Hmph.
Funny stuff. But yesterday was fun. :)
Sweet boy, as always.

Alrightttt, EH BLOGGER CAN'T UPLOAD PICTURES.
I think I'm going to move to LJ or maybe try wordpress. :D
& I'm hungry.
Going to eat MACS.

I'm going to miss my brother!
Cause when he goes to NS, nobody's going to buy me lunch and take care of me when I'm sick. Nobody is going to.. AH CRIES. (Runs away)

Bye world.

oh, you make me smile.

2009-09-03T04:33:00.001+08:00

The Usuals :D

1. I think it's very fun to SMS my bestfriend and the usuals at the weirdest timing.

2. I think it's EVEN more fun when one of them replies me. :)
(BEST FRIEND LAH. SHE ALSO ABIT OWL. AWAKE AT WEIRD TIMINGS)

3. Yesterday I called D to wake him up and I sang him a song.
"Mr Sun, sun, mr golden sun"

4. Me and P singing songs together, like retarded only.
We will do our own cover right and have tamil versions.

5. Can't wait to hang with the breastie tomorrow. I'm so deprived of best lovin'.

6. Today was fun over at Kisho's place. :)
Watching Singapore Idol and crapping.

This is my blog and I'm entitled to say anything I want right? :D
I'M SO HAPPY EVERYTHINGS GOOD BETWEEN THIS 2 RETARDS.
I feel like a mother. (Eh nooo. Abit far off.)
Seeing The Usuals altogether again,
with no problems,
I feel so proud that we're able to maturely solve everything.
Everything that happened, happened for a reason.
I'm sure the friendship will be stronger and I'm just very happy.
I know some will want to whack me for bringing this up HAHAA
but this will probably be the last time I'm going to mention this.

You 2 mean so much to me and I'm glad all's good.
And you 2 damn cute lah.
So nice to be able to be in the same room with the 2 of you.
It feels so right and so good. :)

The End.

Lavanya, if you're reading this.
I'm going to sms you again! HAHAHA.
I love you :D

Night world.

:)

2009-08-30T19:11:00.001+08:00

Happy 20th Birthday Pratheep Rehunathan! :D
I love you.
♥

Hello Mr Sun!

2009-08-28T11:12:00.003+08:00

I'm wide awake, at this unearthly hour (for me)
for the first time this week.

I've been getting up at 2 - 4pm for the past week and this.
is weird for me.
I thik I'm going to sleep at the chalet.

Farook's coming already.

Let's let our hair down and have some fun.

As for the birthday boy, he has his last paper today.
so, ALL THE BEST P! :D

Alright, kuddos!

I think my best pictures are with my favourite girls.
Can't get enough of them.
Like zizah said, "all so lawa" :DDD
And Zee's having her photoshoot now,
all the best my model!
I love you all! <3

Hmm

2009-08-28T02:05:00.001+08:00

Actually I'm quite sad now.
Bye.

Mistakes happen

2009-08-26T02:06:00.003+08:00

That was evidence that I haven't been a friend.
It was evidence that I made the same mistake again.
It was evidence that, Sarah, you proved that..

yes,
you
are
damn
fucking
stupid.

Trust all the wrong people.
Haven't I learnt from years ago to becareful of people like this.
Making the same mistake twice, it hurts.
I don't know which part of me is hurting,
but there's some part of me that is hurting.

This hurt won't last, I know it'll be gone the second this post is done and published. What sucks and what makes this stupid situation worse is that, my worries for the past few days are actually real and true.

I am stupid
and
I have not been a good enough friend.

I feel like I don't want to be bothered with anybody.
It's this passing phase, that I just want to be how I want to be.
I want to scream at you, if I feel like it.
I want to be respected and treated properly.
I want to stop being nice, for a day.

But you know, a lot of things will change when I really just be damn moody the whole day. What if no one can accept me when I don't feel like pleasing you, when I don't feel like being diplomatic, when I don't feel like being nice, when I'm not retarded.

It's tiring sometimes to be so nice to people.
You see what I get.
I'm not appreciated.
I get direspected, bullied - playful or not.
Playful bully also I can tahan, got limit you know.
Too nice and people just take advantage of that.
Yeah, I will be fine. The thing is, people know I'll be okay after awhile.
I won't say anything, doesn't mean you can test me to my limits right.
Doesn't mean you can still hurt me anyway.
Wtf. Screwed in your brain sometimes.
Some people just won't take me seriously, yknw.

Sick and tired lah.
I don't feel like smiling at anybody.

Must I always behave in a way that would be politically right.
Am I not allowed to show how I really feel.

Will you still want to be around me?

Sighs.

------

Out with Abi & Jac today.
I missed you 2, together. :D
We had a superb lunch at Pizza Hut,
had so much fun together, as usual.
Did Manis and Pedis.
Must meet soon. NEXT WEEK!
Love you 2! <3

At night

2009-08-22T04:02:00.000+08:00

Somethings that I can't do

2009-08-21T00:13:00.004+08:00

I've been struggling with this.
A lot.

Somethings that people say,
are supposedly funny.
I'm supposed to laugh,
supposed to be able to brush it off my shoulders,
supposed to not affect me.

See, "supposed to".
I don't know why my sense of humour abit fail (to the max).

My mind says a lot of things.
If only my actions just followed my mind.
I tell you, so many things would've been done differently.

Like in this scenario,
I tell myself to laugh, it's supposed to be funny.
But outside, I let stupid things like jokes affect me.

I don't want anyone to have the chance to hurt me.
& I think by preventing it, I'm not going to get hurt.
I will.
Hurt; is inevitable in life.
Isn't it.

So to lessen it,
I should take myself less seriously,
and take other people's words less seriouly too?
Makes life easier. Makes life so much more easier.

I got a big problem with myself.
Sometimes, I think I should just slap myself.
So dumb Sarah, you're so dumb.

This shall be my 2009's resolution.
No, not to slap myself but to take myself less seriously.
It's not like I've not been trying,
I have. Just that I've been struggling with it.

ANYWAY IM HUNGRY AND GUESS WHAT IM CRAVING FOR.
SEAWEED FRIES HAHAHAH
I WILL NEVER GET ENOUGH OF THAT.

------

And today, I went to shoot zombies with P & Farook.
First time playing LAN HAHA
I'm a freaking gamer I tell you.
A lousy one at that.
BUT! Quite thrilling lah.

There's a first time for everything right. :P

pain pain go away, never come back again.

2009-08-20T03:54:00.004+08:00

"I've got to breathe, you can't take that from me
Cause it's all that you left that's mine."

Indulging myself in meaningful songs and slow music.
Isn't that just the best remedy?

As I lay in solitude,
what's the worse that can happen?

"Everytime I thought of dying,
I didn't want to be dead.
I just wanted the pain to go away."
- Anonymous

Runnnnn

2009-08-18T23:04:00.001+08:00

SOMEONE NEEDS TO MAKE ME GO JOGGING.

Since I'm just slacking at home,
waiting for some angel to give me a job,
I better do something about the amount of time I have.

If not, I'm going to hate myself
and live a very unproductive life.

Hahahha bye.

Change is the only constant

2009-08-18T19:23:00.002+08:00

If there's anything I've learnt in life,
it would be that nothing lasts forever.
Things change,
people change,
life is uncertain.

While we cry and sob over how life sucks for us,
there are other people who pick themselves up and go on with life.
Time and life, doesn't stop for you.
It won't stop and wait for you to be okay again,
it keeps moving, it keeps going, people keep living.

As unfair and as hard as that may sound,
you got to pick yourself up and continue living.

I know it's not easy.
But think about it, if time really did stop for us whenever we wanted it to,
I think we'd be left behind.

If it were me,
I think I'd be 6 years left behind.

"You just got to live."
If you've faced something hard in your life, some kind of change maybe,
and keep thinking how you're ever going to survive,
ask yourself only one question: Are you still alive?
If yes, I think you're doing a pretty good job already. :)

NS

2009-08-15T14:46:00.001+08:00

MY
BROTHER
HAS
TO
GO
TO
NS
ON
15 SEPTEMBER.

I can't even take him one week away from me.
(He's been in Vietnam for 1 week now)

Oh no..

Fml.

shawty's self esteem is low low low

2009-08-15T14:41:00.000+08:00

No camera,
no pictures.
No camera,
no pictures.
No camera,
no pictures,
nobody
take
picture
with
me.

I've no pictures.
Because I have no camera.
I have no camera because..

):

PUPPY, I NEED YOU.
Bye.

Nameless Puppy

2009-08-14T19:04:00.009+08:00

There you go! My puppy who does not have a name yet.
Not the one standing hehhh.
The one in the arms of P :D

We brought it out to run and it was pretty sunny,
so she took cover under P LOL. CUTE RIGHT!

Mokan joined us later. He was mentally torturing the puppy. These 2 retarded people came to my house after that and tortured me. P was being the 'overprotective-and-loving' father to the puppy. Hahaha and Mohaan came over but was scared of her. Quite funny.

Was talking to Ghaz and P last night on the phone
and Ghaz came up with the name 'banghalee' for the puppy.
HAHAHA Retaaard.

Ahwell, still no name. My puppy is nameless.
But I love her so much!
Woot woot.

Puppy

2009-08-13T19:23:00.001+08:00

I GOT A NEW PUPPY.
Adopting it for one month, cause if we don't then they would put the puppy to sleep AKA kill it. I don't know why, don't ask me why.

Well, It's asleep under the couch now.
It's so tinyyyyy! :D
Only a month old.
I love it. ♥♥♥♥♥
Breed: Mongrel
Gender: Female

I want to bring it to the beach even though it doesn't exactly run or walk.
It's so small.
Like an organism (quoted from Pamela)
HAHAHA

AHHHHHH HEAR ME SCREAM.
KAY BYE IM GOING TO STARE AT IT AND THROW IT TO THE AIR.

Any suggestion for a name for my puppy?

End of Year 3 Sem 1

2009-08-09T16:50:00.000+08:00

YEAR 3 SEM 1 HAS OFFICIALLY ENDED FOR US,
since Friday 530pm. :D
Handing in that 60 page (or more) assignment.
A whole load was off our shoulders.

Ohmygaaaaaaaaaawd.
I'm so happy!
I feel so accomplished. :)

It's time to relax.
I want a GETAWAY.
I want to go away for a holiday.
Anyone ? :D

Grab your passport,
steal some money,
take a ferry
and let's goooooooo!

-----

I feel like there's so many things I want to do.

1. Get a job.
I need some income,
so that i can go..

2. Shopping!
With my favourite girls. :D

3. Swimming/sentosa

4. Learn to cook!
Vino, I'm going to come to your house ahhhh!

5. Who needs help with their exam,
come come I teach you.
I'm so free! WHO WANTS ME TO WRITE AN ESSAY FOR YOU.

6. Plan for P's chalet. :D
Most exciting.

7. I want to paint paint paint.
but I don't have a paintbrush.

8. Got more, spend time with the lovedddd ones.

------

Every holiday has been a different experience for me.
Something significant always happens during the holidays.
I hope this holiday will be the same.
Positive things happen, please.

"This is the real test. This is when they learn to hold on to each other."
I think that's the most beautiful thing.
To hold on to each other.
My friend said this about his brother and his wife.
Love, is the most strangest yet most beautiful(est) thing.
It's really how you look at it.

Perspective.
It is very very extremely important.

I've been a realist.
And not a pessimist.
But I should learn to adopt a bit of optimism into my thinking.
Actually, I do. I got hope.
Depending on which situation.

I suddenly feel like I've a lot of energy.
Full of POSITIVE energy.
I'm going to direct it to good things.

Thanks to a very positive person in my life.
Even though it was a struggle to always see eye-to-eye with you
cause of our different mentalities,
I realised that, sometimes, your way of doing things
just makes life so much simpler
and so much more enjoyable.

My life seems like it has fallen into place,
ever since you came around.
It just made more sense.

It may be too early to say,
I'm still so young
and there's so much more to life than what I've gone and am going through.

But with how things are going,
and with great support,
with true friends,
life doesn't seem so bad.
:)

(Unless one of them have been taken away,
hopefully not though.)

There's more to life.
There's more to life.
Remember, there's always more to life. :)

james morrison is the bomb

2009-08-08T01:46:00.006+08:00

"Love takes hostages

and gives them pain

gives someone the power

to hurt you over and over again

oh, but they don't care

oh, and if they're lucky, yeah

they'll, they'll get to see

and if they're really really lucky

they'll get to feel

It kicks so hard, it breaks your bones

It cuts so deep, it hits your soul

Tears your skin, and makes your blood flow

ITt's better that you know that love is hard

if it was easy, it wouldn't mean nothing, no."

crackfest

2009-08-06T11:58:00.001+08:00

On this day of your life, Sarah, we believe God wants you to know...
that every little part of you is magical.

Yes, even the parts that hurt, even the ones that are feeling disease right now. It's alright to love what is in pain. More than alright, that's exactly where your love is needed the most. So why not touch that part that hurts and smile at it, at yourself through it, and whisper: ''I love you.''

Maybe some of you may have a lot to pain in your heart,
because of some personal things,
but remember that maybe you're meant to feel; to give

"Don't apologize to yourself, for who you are."

the special people

2009-08-02T23:02:00.000+08:00

WE ARE GROWING UP!
Seriously.
Find some excitement in that.

It really takes something to hit you to make you realise that,
"Excuse me buddy, you ain't getting any younger."

It is nerve-wrecking as well as interesting. :D

It's also good to have friends that you've had from years back.
Then you can start reminiscing of the old days,
the embarassing moments,
the fights,
the hurt,
the betrayal,
the good times,
the times when we fought together against another,
the nights we cried on the phone,
the nights we talked,
the days we spent together,
the late nights,
the nights at vivo's rooftop with the rain falling,
the days we spent doing absolutely nothinggggggg.

All the gatherings.
Oh
My
Gosh.
And now, even though the 4 of us are in different paths of lives.
Somewhere in our friendships,
all of us know that we were so much a part of each other before,
and somehow, we still are special to each other.
Too special, we can't let go.
Even if we forget each other at some points,
or just too busy to leave an sms,
we still are connected
and something, somewhere would pull us back together again.

Even if it means a call, once a month
or an sms once in 2 weeks.
We still keep in touch.
That's important and it means a lot.
I can't believe how easy it is to talk to all of you.
Maybe the 2 of you.
Cause the other one, MIA HAHAHA.

All of us are attached, with our own lives.
Just makes me feel so old.
I knew ya'll first when I was 15.
And now, we're turning 19.
4 years have gone past,
so many things have happened.
Doesn't even seem like 4 years,
it feels like I've known you guys all my life.

Reunion, you dream on.
But. Maybe, we can give it a try. :)

2009-08-01T21:52:00.001+08:00

I am miserable at best.

ive missed.

2009-07-26T01:47:00.002+08:00

Friday night spent with Azizah dearest.

Saturday met Pam to go for NDP preview parade.

Both days had so much fun.
Realised how much I've missed them.
<3

sometimes, it's nice to pray

2009-07-22T01:18:00.004+08:00

We went so far into the conversation.
We almost lost it all.
We almost lost each other.
I almost lost my breath.

------

Talking about life,
I want to revisit my past.
I feel the urge to walk down the pathways that I used to,
and just go back to where I used to live before now.
See if I can remember anything
or if I've just completely forgotten about.. you.

I need to keep remembering you.
I've only got a handful of memories that keep replaying in my head.
I need more, it's not sufficient for forever.
I know that I'll soon forget, and I can't afford to.
Not now, not yet.

I hope that explains a lot.
I need to make memories.
I want to make memories with my loved ones, those special ones.
I appreciate, a lot.
I treasure. Time is damn precious to me.
Things or people can be taken away from you,
just.
like.
that.
And all you're left with is their memories.
Do you have enough to last you for a lifetime?
How would you know right.
When they're unexpectedly taken away,
you're left with nothing.
and it's just too late.

Anyway, it's not like I've got a whole bunch of plans up my ass.
I miss my friends.
I'm free. Got too much time.
I miss my friends.
And I'm planning to do a lot of things to keep me occupied.
I miss my friends.
Not like you'll want to know anyway.

Bye retards.

future love

2009-07-19T15:39:00.002+08:00

This was last week with the usuals plus kisho.
We were at esplanade this week too,
Lavanya joined us this week :)
Was happy to see her after so long.

Yesterday, we were hanging around marina square.
Then Lav left, PDF (file LOL) and I went to see the fireworks.
VERY NICE AHHHH.
P bought this very nice joker poster. :)
Then the 4 of us made our way down to the loft cause Farook's father was having a bbq.
We crashed, ate the food and lepak-ed there.
I was feeling soooo bored cause this guys only know how to talk about
Armani underwear and NS life.
Even though its damn interesting to hear their stories,
I felt abit bored.
So they played musical chairs! HAHA
VERY FUNNY.
Dinesh was doing 'shuffling' and Farook was dancing. OMG.
P was pushing them away from the chairs as they were circling the chairs.
P couldn't take Dinesh's dance steps anymore and just fell to the floor laughing. HAHAHA
So sad some people can't see this side of the guys.

They're damn spastic la.
No worries, I took a video with Farook's phone. :) :)
So just wait for it to be uploaded on fb and you'll know what I'm talking about.

We got one pretty exciting plan lined up.
Can't wait for it. :)

P.S. I'm quite sad that my pictures are all gone.
I didn't realise is THAT many.
I mean, some are retrievable but. so siansations to copy and paste every picture.
Some are gone forever.
Pictures are so precious to me, memories.
Someone help me copy and paste?
Or can some miracle just happen?

Till the next time, adios amigos.
I go and do work now.
Love love love.

.

2009-07-18T13:03:00.002+08:00

2009-07-15T23:52:00.001+08:00

Field Supervision tomorrow.

It'll go fine.

All the best Jaclyn, Dorothy and me. :)

"Love will find you."

I will make it

2009-07-15T00:46:00.002+08:00

Why must that sms come now.
Yeah, I needed it.
But I was strong.

And just like that, I'm weak again.
God wants me to let it all go and not hold it all in.
I don't know why.
He just wants me to let it all go.
But I'm still holding back.
I need to hold back, I need to be stronger than this.

I've been too vulnerable for the last few months,
and this time its a real struggle but I gotta hold on.
I gotta keep it together.
I can't fall apart now, I can't let go now.
I'll be a mess.

He keeps telling me to depend on Him, to depend on Him.
Somehow, I just can't. Not completely.
I can't depend on anyone. I can't.

I love you God.
Let me do this on my own.
I thought that's what you wanted.
Testing me, my strength.
Haven't I been fine? Why break me now. Why now.

God works in mysterious ways.
and He always delivers.
Sarah, let go.

"God will make a way,
where there seems to be no way.
He works in ways we cannot see,
He will make a way for me."

This song suddenly came to my mind,
sorry for being so holy moly.
But that was what the sms was about,
and after a long time it made me tear.
I felt comforted and consoled.
I felt peace.
I felt like everything was going to be taken care of.
I felt everything I was looking for, at this stressful period of time.
I felt it.
So I teared.

raindrops are gumdrops.

2009-07-12T21:09:00.007+08:00

Byebye everything in my laptop.
Sent it to the computer hospital,
Must wait for the guy to call me and tell me if he manages to save my data.
My pictures are gone, for sure.

but you know even then,
the first thing i went to save,
weren't even my pictures,
or my music, or not even my documents.
It was your songs.
I feel bad that your game will be lost.
Please tell me that I've completely lost it.
"Sarah, you've lost it."

I was trying to save as much data as i can today,
halfway the laptop just shut down.
I've been trying to save data ever since yesterday,
but the laptop can't even be switched on properly for more thatn 2 mins.
And this time,
it couldn't even go back to the startup menu.
Bummer.

i've to pay the price
i've to pay the price
in the end,
i've to pay the price.

----

With attachment going on,
I've not much of a life.
Even at home, I am in my own circle.
I only bother to contact some people,
and that's only when I feel like it.
I find talking to people now a big bother.
Except for that few, very very few.
You can count that amount with the fingers on one hand.

Also, I realised that I don't make sense when I talk.
For someone who used to have a lot of things to say
and a lot of things up her head,
she now has nothing.
AND I MEAN, nothing.

My social life and my social skills are gone.
I should be a stone.

-----

I am a person who wants to make a impact in people's life.
That is why I want to be a psychologist.
I want to advice and bring people to the right track.
I want to be a psychologist for many reasons.

1. I like to be the change of someone's life.
Like, if people ask you who is the reason for you being here.
Besides yourself, you'd probably be able to think of one or 2 people,
I like to be that one or 2 people in someone's life.
I'd feel like I've accomplished something in life.

2. I like to talk.
Talk, talk, talk.
Talk with wisdom.
Talk like I know.
Talk with experience.
I think I can advice, and with proper training,
I think i'll be able to understand people better and tell them the right things.

3. Love my job
I won't even feel like it's a job.
I mean, it will be a challenge.
And I would love that challenge.
:)

4. I'm abit of a kpo.
I like to know of people's problems.
And I'll feel better because, they actually come to me for professional help.

5. I wanna help people.
I just feel like if can do something about it, i should.
Doesn't take much of me to just give advice.
They're words.
They can mean just words to someone,
but can mean everything to someone else.
I've gotten the feeling like my words have changed someone before
and that my words were taken seriously.
My advice was appreciated and my advice worked.
The outcome was so much more than I could've imagined.
The people were grateful and sooo happy.
I know the feeling of making someone happy and I liked that feeling.
I felt accomplished and happy and the other person was happy as well.
Like there's no greater feeling.
If i can do something that is within my reach, i will.
I wanna make a difference in someone's life.
& I wanna keep doing that.

I wanna touch people's life or heart with something that I can do.
Anything.

But I gotta do that with those closest to me first.
And I find that the hugest battle.
Because I don't seem to be making an impact in people's life.
Maybe I've to try harder.

Or maybe, after all that i've said
I'm not meant to make a difference in people's life.

I'm not meant for anything.

sickkkk

2009-07-09T17:26:00.003+08:00

I have been down with the fever and sorethroat.
Skipped attachment on wed and went to polyclinic to get meds for my slight fever.
Pretty hilarious.
They bombarded me with questions,
made me wear a mask and brought me to some isolated area.
I felt like a convict, so unloved. HAHA.
But I got 3 days MC.

Today was really bad.
My temperature last night was pretty high, it scared me.
I woke up at 630am, and couldn't sleep ever since.
1/2 and hour on the bed would feel like eternity.
I thought I slept for a few hours but realise only 1/2 hr has passed.
I woke up at 10, showered, watched tv but felt giddy.
So I went to lie on my bed.

I felt hot and cold.
I had to cover myself with my blanket,
but it just made my body temperature rise even more.

I don't usually get sick,
I can't even remember the last time I fell ill.
But I'm glad I'm recovering,
feeling soooo much better than last night.

Very easy to cure.
Pray.
Rest well.
Don't think too much.
Keep drinking water.
Eat your meals and meds at the right time.
Shower.
And just lie on your bed.

if you don't take care of yourself,
who will?

It was miserable, I was miserable.
I felt uncomfortable and so sick.

But i'm good now.

Falling sick isn't a big deal.
Everyone falls sick.
I just felt like blogging,
especially since the H1N1 is circulating.

AND ALSO SINCE I GOT NOTHING ELSE BETTER TO DO.
-_-"""

Reminisce

2009-07-08T20:56:00.003+08:00

I got my little bit of artistic talents from my mother. She loved to do art, her phone book was filled with scribbles and she always took a piece of paper just to scribble. She was so creative and I remember always being very impressed with her work. Every drawing, the way she coloured, the way eveyrthing she did was so perfect. She always did my art homework for me in primary school.

And I always got an A. Because of her.
I still remember one artwork she did for me.
We had to draw a cartoon character on this kite we made.
She traced this Jimmy Neutron picture so damn perfectly.
And coloured it even more perfectly.
:)

If she was here with me today, she would probably be doing all my attachment things with or FOR me HAHAHA. I can just imagine. She'd probably be sitting on her bed, watching her tamil serials, giving me ideas and cutting the pieces or colouring something for me.

Cool la my Mummy.
Talk to me in my dreams tonight okay.
Tell me what I should do for my attachment,
I've no ideas already.

Hahahha bye.

I'll be there

2009-07-06T00:30:00.003+08:00

I've so much of love to give and receive from/for this 6 other special people.
I hope wherever they are,
they're fine.
I hope all of your preparations are going great.
I hope ya'll are surviving, breathing.
They probably won't even have the time to come by,
but I'm sure they can feel the loveeeeeee.
Can't wait for the day when we can let our hair down
and just have a good time together, like last time.
Missing ya'll like crazy.
No more sunshine, rainbows and ponies in my life when ya'll are not around.

I'm glad I got to meet Pam and Jo the other night,
just to lepak.
The energy I felt when I was with them was so different from whatever I've been facing with during the weekdays at the attachment centre.
Even though we already felt like dying at 1am,
being with them was good enough.
Stress relief. :D

East Coast Park with Youthzation today.
16 of us :)
It was fun, but I just kept to myself.
Nowadays I just don't feel like talking,
too tired to do anything.
And I'm glad my bestf straightened that out for me.
She always never makes me feel like I'm alone and I'm weird.
Cause whatever I feel, is whatever she feels.
I think we all went into our own little space for now,
until attachment time's over.
We're all in our little cacoons waiting for the day to come
to flap our wings and fly freely like butterflies.

It's just that, life may not have been perfect for me.
But life hasn't been THAT bad for me either.
Life may not have been easy,
but no one promised me that it would be.
The down days will come, the trick is to get out of it.
(I'm still in that process of stopping myself from thinking too much
yes, ive realised its because of my insecurities
but who doesn't have insecurities.)
Just take things as it comes,
trust that God will provide for me
and I'll just carry on with my own things.

Somethings I can't handle by myself.
I've always solved my own problems, up till poly. Up till now.

But we're living in an oxymoronic life now.
Just like my dearest pam once said,
"We're all in this together, alone. What an oxymoron."
:DDDD

We're all in this alone.
But girls, find some comfort in this,
we're still there for each other,
I'm still there for you.

I'm just a call or sms away.
<3

lips like sugarrrrr

2009-06-30T01:39:00.002+08:00

Just one random picture.

Today was fun with the boy.
It's back to the retarded days again.
It's been so long since we laughed like that,
and today was very special to me.
I don't know why.

We had dinner at IMM.
We went to Daiso and the boy was amazed at my natural talents :)
I told you I'm funny.
If you regard 'i can't believe i'm here with a kukuhead' as 'sarah, you're damn funny.'
He bought a rainbow springer thingy.
Like a small kiddo.

Some people didn't know that everything in Daiso is $2.
Still can ask, "which one cheaper?" in Daiso. -_-"

We went to popular.
He suddenly had the urge to buy a laser.
He lost his previous one.

We tried the laser thing at my house area.
We were shining it from my corridor, to some boy and his mother.
They both looked at us, quite funny.
The small boy was running and P lasered him and he suddenly stopped.
HAHAHA.

Then P wanted to laser my brother.
So we were outside my house shining the laser in through the window at my brother, who was using the com.
We were trying to be as still and as quiet as possible.
It was so funny, controlling the laughter made my tummy hurt.
HAHAHAH P IS A FUNNY BOY.
Today he was trying hard to be a clown,
cause I was funnier today.

It's so hard to beat him.
He is the ultimate.

THATS WHY TODAY WAS SPECIAL.
CAUSE I WON. HAHAHAH.
ADMIT IT. :DDDD

<333

2009-06-28T16:09:00.002+08:00

I NEED TO DE-STRESS!!!!

These next 6 weeks is going to be damn tough.
I need all the help I can get.
I feel my brain about to explode.
Shit.

I can't think of anything else.
Focus Sarah.
FOCUSSSSS.

------

Specially for my baby pisangs.
Keep holding on,
cause you know we'll make it through,
we'll make it through.

Just stay strong,

cause you know I'm here for you,

I'm here for you

"she wants to love me whoohoo" ~

2009-06-25T01:03:00.002+08:00

I always loveddddddd talking to you.
Never will get bored.
There's always too many things to say.

Just felt that 1 and a half hours was very precious to me.
:)

I love youuuu dearest! <3

restart please

2009-06-24T22:55:00.003+08:00

I'm becoming someone who i never used to like.
What is becoming of me?

How I wish somethings can be put in the past.
How I wish I could have another chance,
I want to restart.
I would've done things so much more differently.
I hate what I've become.

I'm sorry everyone.
Especially you.

to each other, forever

2009-06-21T01:48:00.002+08:00

I want to be a boy
or
I wish Pamela stayed near me.

So we could meet in the wee hours just to talk and ahem.
We should try to do that during the hols dear.
HAHAHA. :D

I love my pisangs and I miss them very much.
I miss how we can talk about anything and everything under the sun.
I miss how comfortable I feel with them.
I miss how loving we used to be.
I miss just being together and doing nonsense.

:)

2009-06-13T01:24:00.002+08:00

I reflect every single second of my life.

I don't exactly like it.
My brain's weird.

2009-06-11T00:34:00.002+08:00

THIS PRATHEEP REHUNATHAN AH.
He never die before.

He beat my crazy taxi score by 10000.
HAHAHA I WAS WINNING FIRST LORRRRR.
Cheeeeken.

You wait ah Mister P.
I tell your father you bully me then you know.

-------

Tomorrow I got one day off from attachment. :) :)
I've got tutorial, so that means, NO ATTACHMENT.
This calls for a celebration.
Cause we made it through 3 days of attachment from 9 to 5,
IN A ROW.
Thats 24 hours already.

Where's the presents, trophies and medals?
HELLO?!
Chicken backside.
Don't know how many more days to go.

I'm craving for..
Booooobles teaaaaa :DDDD

my friend from primary 3.

2009-06-09T19:52:00.002+08:00

CLASSIC MOMENT.

Jaclyn and I were walking home from attachment and we saw this primary school child carrying a silver metallic baton.
Jaclyn: Omg memories.

The child then dropped the baton on the drain.

Jaclyn: Omg 1000 memories.

HAHAHAHHA.
YEAH MAN I MISS PRIMARY SCHOOL TRACK AND FIELD.

Jaclyn and I have come along wayyyy.
Haven't we? :D

Byebye my life.

2009-06-08T01:00:00.003+08:00

I don't know if having so much of time to myself nowadays is a good thing.
I keep trying to occupy myself with things.
Not having a laptop now, it works in both ways I guess.
The good and the bad.

The good,
I get to catch up on my other interests other than surfing the internet. Which is actually getting very boring other than talking to the lovelies online.
I get to start experimenting with my not-very-touched crayon set (EYES BECOME BIGGGG), my colourful construction papers and my markers. :)
I get to play and sing with my guitar. Feel my soul and every other body part come alive and feel peaceful singing those songs, I love. Plus, I found my capo! Happiness.
I get to watch TV. Usually I'd be hogging on my laptop and living the anti-social life at home. As of now, I'm using the desktop in the living room, where the TV is like never switched off, so noisy, I'm surrounded by people so I don't have time to myself. Which is a good thing, cause I don't really want to be alone with those thoughts in my head. I miss watching TV.

The bad,
I've too much time on my hands.
I get bored.
I start thinking.

And you know how I am when I start thinking.
My brain has a life of its own.

Attachment starts tomorrow.
Man, I've dreaded this day ever since the start of Year 2.
And I'm in Year 3, starting my attachment in less that 8 hours.
Please have mercy on me.
Life is going to change, I know it.

So maybe since I don't have a laptop,
I won't even have a life anymore.
Sayonara blogging, I'll be too tired to bother about you.
And I'll be too tired to fight over the com with my 2 other brothers at home.
My time will be occupied with doing things for attachment,
24/7 ATTACHMENT ATTACHMENT ATTACHMENT.

I can eat shit and sleep attachment already.
For 2 months.
I'll see how life changes for me.
What's going to stay the same?'
Who's going to stay.
Who's going to leave.
Emo emo emo emo.

AHHAHAAH
ALL THE BEST LOVELIES.
Only we know how much, it's going to suck for us, how much we've dreaded this 9-5 thing.
(not getting paid okay. cb)

Night world! :)

forgiveness

2009-06-07T00:34:00.003+08:00

Is it that hard to put behind the past?
Is it so hard to forgive someone.
Are some things too much to forgive?
What happened to the all the things that were said and done before a mistake?
The things like, 'i'll be there for you'.
What happened to all the promises that were made,
the words that were said,
the feelings that were felt?

Was it all of just a lie?
What happened to friends till the end of time.

Is forgiving someone that hard to do.

Is it really that hard to do?

You know what, it's a choice.
It can be the easiest thing to do,
or the most hardest thing to do.
In the end, it's up to you.
Whether you choose to forgive or not.

I found it hard to forgive my best friend in the past.
We were so tight, so close.
But somethings hurt too much,
but I forgave.
I couldn't forget the things she did,
the way she made use of me.
But I forgave.
I could've chosen not to, but I did.

So will you?
Sometimes the closest to you may be the hardest ones to forgive.
But are ya'll close enough to forgive.
That's the question.

--------
What hurts the most
What hurts the most
What hurts the most
Was being so close

And not seeing that loving you was what I was trying to do.

Trust.

2009-06-06T02:35:00.002+08:00

Trust.
I've always struggled with that word.
Trusting others,
trusting myself.
It used to be so easy to believe someone,
but now its just the most hardest, close-to-impossible thing to do.
But even after knowing how hard it is to trust someone,
with your whole heart,
you still end up doing it.
You still trust.
How, why? Even I don't know.
Giving everything and everyone the benefit of a doubt.
For what? Who knows.
We're humans. We just do it.

What's life without going through pain and hurt.

I've realised that there are people out there who are in need of so much more attention than others. They actually need it.

----SIDE TRACK----
I was angry, I was upset today afternoon.
It still is a big deal to me
cause this is myyyyyyy problem.
In the end, I'm losing out. Not you, not you or you.
It's me, me, me.
I've to solve my own problems, no one's going to do it for me
I'm just going to leave this whole frustrating situation to God
He will carry me through,
like how he's been doing so for so many years of my life.
----ENDED----

I can't believe that I am going to be a hypocrite.
Well, it's a good thing in this case.
But I don't even know what I'm getting myself into.
I just know that this is something that I'll do.
For anyone who is worth it.

So let tomorrow come.
Let's see what the day brings.
It might just be beautiful.

I love,

2009-06-04T00:11:00.000+08:00

"You know it's been said that we just don't recognize the significant moments of our lives while they are happening. We grow complacent with ideas, or things or people and we take them for granted and it's usually not until that thing is about to be taken away from you that you've realized how wrong you've been that you realized how much you need it, how much you love it."

- One Tree Hill.

Happy 8th.
:)

a rock, a mirror and my best friend.

2009-06-02T01:58:00.007+08:00

Days spent with pisangs have been nothing but fun.
Cycling, towning, shopping, school. I love you all.
:) :) :)

The usuals made our way to the zoooooo!
So random, but we did. We went to the zoo.
HOW ABOUT YOUUUUUUUU.

We missed Lavanya though! So sad you couldn't make it. ):
These are some pictures.
Facebook is being an ass, I cant upload pictures now.

I'm so sleepy.
I didn't play bouncing balls today.
I'm tired.

Bye loves.

you're my dream come true

2009-05-26T23:28:00.003+08:00

I've been thinking, what does being strong get you?

I used to smile all the time,
evcen through my toughest times,
even through my worst days,
I smiled, I act happy.
But now, I can't anymore.

I don't think I became weaker,
I think I just sometimes choose to show.
Or, the hurt is too much that even my strength can't cover.

When I used to keep it all inside,
nobody knew what I went through.

So being strong got me nothing,
got me no one.

Now, I just need people to care.

I used to go home, lie on my mother's lap
and cry and talk my heart out until I fell asleep.
I can't do that now.

----------

MY BESTF SANG ME A SONG.
ONLY FOR MY EARS.
You know what, she's a show stopper! :)))

2009-05-16T19:10:00.001+08:00

Brooke:

"People that are meant to be together always find their ways in the end."

5 of us.

2009-05-14T01:07:00.005+08:00

In the morning, made my way down to je swimming complex
with Azizah Jol and Jojo.
We had a great swim, being retarded as usual.
Met pam for lunch.
The 5 of us ate the exact same thing except for the drinks.
Loving OR WHAT.
I love you allllllll.

School.
What's there to say.
Except for the times that we sengkeh by ourselves,
everything else was boring.

DINESH HAS GRADUATED FROM SCHOOL! :)
Hip hip hooray!
It is a happy news, but sad as well.
No more monster terrorising the walkways of NP.

1 minute of silence.

I don't want the day to come where i've to blog about dinesh's farewell to NS.
Or P's graduation. ): ):

Okay, shall not think too far ahead.
(less than half a year though)

RARRRRRRRRRR.

So after D's graduation, we went back to the ICS room for awhile.
Karthi gave us famous amos and lemon barley.
How did he get them? I DON'T KNOW LEHHHH.
Must ask him. HOW AH KARTHI? You strike 4D ah?
I think he is a damn funny guy.
Everyone should make friends with him.
I think he doesn't know how funny he actually is.
Retarded guy.

So THE USUALS made our way to Holland V.
Had a lot of fun, as usual.
:)

After that, dinnered with P.
And we made a bet, which requires him to shave his head if he lost.
But this one, both of us can't control the bet.
It's up to other people, we'll see.
Right baby?
Loverders you.

Goondu night everyone.

HAPPY GRADUATION DEE.

sarcasm

2009-05-12T01:01:00.002+08:00

I won't bother about people
who don't bother about me.

I'm done trying to reach out,
i'm done being the one who initiates,
i'm done caring about people

who don't care about me
and don't appreciate me.

I'm tired.
I really can't give a flying shit about anyone
and what they think.

I know who is worth it.
I know who the genuine ones are.
Even though I only have a handful of them,
I'm good.
That's all I need.

I've learnt not to waste my time caring about other things,
when there's other things worth my time.

I won't even smile at people.
It's not that I don't like you,
i just can't be bothered anymore.

bye.

---------------------------

HAPPY 21ST MY MOST LOVABLE ANNEH.
I LOVE YOU TILL THE END OF TIME.
:)

i can't balance.

2009-05-05T01:29:00.004+08:00

Going crazy with the cousins.

Renukhaaaaaaaaaa :)

Just some random pictures from the past week.
----

My anger is getting a bit out of control, which is scaring me. I'm reacting and responding in ways which I've only pictured in my head. I never knew that my thoughts would come alive, in a way. I always thought about a lot of things when I was angry in the past. Like if I'm angry at someone, I'd imagine taking a knife and stabing the person. Well, no worries. I didn't murder anyone in anger. Yet.

I scratched someone in anger, real hard, a few days ago.
Not pleasant of course, but I was angry.
Not excuse I know, but at that time I couldn't be bothered.
It just happened.
I think the feeling was more of frustration than anger.
A failure of people to understand my thoughts, my needs, my ideas.
A failure to understand me and my point of view.
A rush of assumptions or accusations.
Trying to explain, defend myself and convey the message as patiently across,
but the message was somewhere stuck in transition.
Even though I was given a chance to explain what I was trying to say/do,
I didn't feel like it or didn't want to.
Couldn't be bothered to at that time,
was filled with frustration.

I felt like I was stuck in a glass box.
Screaming, trying to get someone's attention.
People can see me, but they can't hear me.
They're so ignorant.
They didn't even try to hear me.
I just felt stuck.
Frustrated.

Some nights I'd cry.
And I'd slap myself, cause I wouldn't even know why I cried.
I wasn't miserable.
I was just so frustrated with myself.

And I snapped.
A couple of days ago.
Unfortunately, someone was a victim of my repressed emotions.
I felt guilty, I still do feel guilty.

It has nothing to do with anyone,
but me.

I think I'm seriously going crazy.
But that phase is slowly dying off.
Let it die. Forever.
I feel like i'm running around in circles.
Again and again.
Again and again and again.
I'm
going
mad.
--------

On a lighter note,
happy 7th month! :)

We lurf itch ahhhder.

2009-04-25T01:36:00.005+08:00

I may say it was your fault
Cause I know you could have done more

17 Again with Jojo Wani and Fiza at PS today.
FUN.
More movies together girls.
I love my pisangs like crazy.
Hope we can spend this next 7 weeks PEACEFULLY.
No disputes, no fights, just love.
LOVE AH. HELLO ALL 6 OF YA'LL.
:)

Goodnight.

brother

2009-04-15T15:09:00.002+08:00

My brother said 2 lines today:

Me:
"Anneh, buy for me food."
-Pause-
"Eh, neh. Poke poke. Buy food leh."

Neh:
"Want me to tell you something that will hrut your feelings? HAAHAH"

After he bought lunch, he came back home with ONE can of China Apple.
Then I said, "AH I WANT THAT."
He look at me.
"You making me feel guilty issit?"
I said,
"No lah. I go and buy myself."
He gave me that stupid face.
"No really. It's okay."

Then he say,
"WAH I GO AND BUY LA.
No girl means 'no really. it's okay'.
The more they say they're okay,
the more they're not."

HAHAH THATS WHY HE IS MY BROTHER.
He gets me, way too much. :)

things will change

2009-04-11T22:50:00.004+08:00

P's got an iphone.

And he painted my nails for me HAHA.
I think he will kill me for typing that.

And, he put diner dash in his iphone so that I can play.
It's more fun playing it on the iphone than on the com.
Your phone is my phone, your money is my money.
and NOT vice versa.

Abel called me to tell me he got some HTC phone also.
omgomgomg.
This people all want to get smacked.
HAHAHAH

I think for now, more than anything in the world,
I just want 2 things.

1. MY CAMERA
For all who don't know, it's lost.
And I'm very very sad about it.
I don't know where to start explaining.
No point saying anything, I just want my camera.
I'm very angers.
*TEMPER TANTRUMS*

2. A DOG
To make my lonely nights pass faster.

SO.
ANYONE?
THANKS.
I WILL BUY FOR YOU PADDLEPOP.

The camera one really my heart is breaking till today.
I don't have anyone else to blame but myself.

Sometimes life is really unfair to me.
Maybe I didn't appreciate the camera, so it just went missing.
Okay, I KNOW YOUR WORTH NOW, so will you come back to me.
Stop hiding already.

Who curse me.

2009-04-06T03:09:00.000+08:00

Ma,
if
you
were
here
today.

How
different
will things be?

i've never been like that

2009-04-05T16:00:00.005+08:00

I
can't
help
but
be
so
difficult.

Anything
I
say
will
probably
come
across
as
an
e
x
  c
   u
    s
     e.

Sometimes
I
don't
have
an
answer
but
am
forced
out
one

And
I
thought
it
was
okay
for
me
not
to
know
everything.

2009-04-01T03:39:00.001+08:00

I've never felt so disgusted with myself before.
I can't look at myself in the mirror.

for all of the things we've gone through

2009-03-31T04:11:00.002+08:00

I've fallen in love with yet another book.

"This Is For You" by Rob Ryan

He cuts pictures out of paper.

He is an artist.

Inspirational.

As I read these words, he hugged me from behind.
At that moment, I felt safe, secured and at home.

We've grown.

imissyou

2009-03-30T00:01:00.003+08:00

Six years.

Yes, I don't know how time flew by.
It never passed so fast before.
I don't know how I got through those long nights,
I don't know how I got through life without your guidance,
I don't know how I got through without your love,
I don't know how
I
got
through
everything
without
you.

But I somehow did.
This missing you thing, it doesn't get easier.

It's heartbreaking to not be able to hear your voice.
It's sad to not be able to remember how you'd call me.
It hurts that you can't se me grow up.
It's not easy to keep thinking of the what ifs.
I want to know so much about you.
There's so much that I still don't know.
You live in me by the stories people tell me.
And in these stories, I feel connected to you cause you were just like me.
I want to know how similiar we are.
I want to know more.
It just kills me to not have you by my side anymore.

"God took an angel back early."
We remember you.
Everyday.

polka dots.

2009-03-28T15:10:00.005+08:00

"Have you stolen anything before?"
"Eh, not really."
"You stole my heart. (Stupid laughter)"
HAHHAAHA.

If I were to list every retarded thing he said,
I can make a joke book already.

Andddd, these are som random pictures.
Renukha is a retard.
I'm going to miss her when she leaves for India on Sunday.
Take care dearest! : )

I MISS MY PISANGSSSSSSS RARRRR!
Eh, timetable's out.
Damn slack sia, but it's for the first 7 weeks only.
That's what I heard. After that, attachment starts.
Ready, get set, gooo!

she falls to the ground

2009-03-27T02:59:00.002+08:00

I find it hard to trust a lot of people, suddenly.
I'm going to crawl back into my hole.
Tonight and forever.

need to know, need to hear

2009-03-19T23:08:00.009+08:00

GRRR.

The security guards at toapayoh pissed me and sexy off today.
I've never seen a more irritating group of shits in my life, ever.

I LOVE WORKING WITH SEXY.
ALWAYS.
:)

-----------

"So keep breathing
I said that I'll always be there
Now I mean it more than ever before
There's a future worth fighting for
So don't be scared
I know how you must be feeling
No one to help you carry the pain
I'm coming to save the day"

Hmmm.

huhh

2009-03-18T23:09:00.004+08:00

There's so many things that I don't get.
These walls that are slowly buliding around me to protect, again,
I don't get.
Protect me from what/for what?
I don't get.
Insecurities?
I don't get.
Why should I feel like what I'm feeling.
It's okay to hurt once in awhile.
It's okay to hurt.
It's okay to hurt.
It's only normal to.
It's only normal to.
Nobody did anything
and I feel some kind of pain.
Precisely because
nobody did anything.
But what do i want
people to do?
What do I want?
What MORE do I want?
I just need to feel
that everything is
nicely fitted in a
puzzle. I need to
feel reassured.
I need to feel that
everythings
worth it. Will I
ever feel like that?
There's a longing.
There's a hole.
I'm sorry if anything
anyone does is not good
enough for me. I'm
thinking, nothing in
my life, or nothing
anyone can do can make
me feel like it was ever
enough. But yet, ironically,
I'm content. I can be satisfied.
Now, how is that.
If you get it then you do,
if not, then you don't.

Thoughts in my head.
These are just the thoughts in my head.

2009-03-14T15:15:00.001+08:00

The day which I thought was one of the best days of my week,
and the best day in a long time,
was actually a mistake.

How sad is that.
Murder me.

you don't need this

2009-03-13T01:35:00.004+08:00

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Losing Someone You love affection and the people in your life more than anything. Your greatest fear is that one day someone you care about won't be there anymore. You are a very friendly and inviting person, who draws in a lot of friendships with your kind, considerate, and loyal nature. However, deep down you are slightly insecure and unsure of yourself. You couldn't deal with it if you didn't have one of your loved ones in your life anymore. You don't have too much to worry about though, because with a friend like you, no one will want to lose you either!
Being Alone
Disappointment
Where Your life is Going
Looked down on
Death
Commitment
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Okay, I hate being alone. I used to love it, and till now, at times, I really do. It's just, I don't exactly want time to myself nowadays. I want to treasure the moments, I don't want to waste time, I want to spend my holidays properly. Before it's too late.

Every time I have a semester break, the next sem will be completely different from the other. I won't deny that change is good, but too much of it, I don't like. I tend to compare the different semesters. In terms of friendships, studies, environment etc. Not for the benefit or loss of anyone, but just to see how much I've gone through, how far I've come and see what has changed in my life. Answer: ALOT.

Like for example, last semester (not term) break in October, I had an average paying part-time job, I was busy with my abang's wedding preparation, I had the abangs to hang out with, I got into a relationship.
Now, I have a whole new circle of friends and no job.

At some points, I don't know if it's a good change or a bad one. There are advantages and disadvantages, but somehow I always find the darkness when everythings bright. It gets pretty lonely sometimes, at night, when I'm supposed to be sleeping. I don't like to have so much time in my hands, I want a freaking job to get myself busy and to make myself feel like I've accomplished something during my holidays. But for now, I'm stuck with nothing.
N-O-T-H-I-N-G.

I don't like sitting in silence, not as much as I used to.
It literally kills me.
I'm afraid to be alone nowadays, why?
Cause I don't want my thoughts to eat me up alive.
The thoughts get scarier every night.
I need to be busy.
I need to do something.
I need to be with people.

I need to runaway from silence.
It's my worse enemy.

i miss the times we never had

2009-03-12T03:57:00.005+08:00

I don't know how you do it,
but you did.

You made me smile, and after a long time, I meant it.

You made me happy, and I could feel it.

Just be you.

Just be true.

It's really the littlest of things sometimes.

♥ ♥ ♥

happy birthday BROS.

2009-03-09T04:37:00.003+08:00

FIRSTLY, HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY BFAM! :)
May God bless youuuuuuu.
Keep dancing, keep fighting, keep the faith.
Love you <3

This was what happened on 8th March 2009.

So laaarkie got cake on your face.

FAMILY.

Happy 16th birthday little brother :) :) :)

I'm weak tonight

2009-03-09T00:47:00.003+08:00

There are some things and words that I need to hear right now.

But no one would ever know.
If only I had a clone for a friend.

once I've had the best

2009-03-07T02:05:00.003+08:00

Thinking Of You
Katy Perry

I love the emotions she brings in this song.
I will cry to this song, one day.
I've been listening to her live versions on youtube.

And why would I not cry, she plays acoustic live.

P.S. I love and am crazy about acoustic remember.
P.P.S I need to find my capo, I lost it.

Mandolin Rain

2009-03-05T04:41:00.003+08:00

A conversation with my friend got me thinking.

Everyone is out there searching and looking for something. Until then, we don't know what we're living for. We wake up without a reason. We live in the moment, we just live from day to day. We wake up, busy ourselves with the usual routines, make plans to let the day pass faster, to get to the time where we'll sleep and start the next day go pass again the same way.

But once we found a reason to live, a reason to be happy, we'd be able to make sense of this life we're living in. We'd be able to find a reason to wake up every morning, there's something to look forward to. A future to be excited about.

After we've found our happiness (in whatever form), everything else suddenly seems to fall into place. Whereas before, everything in life was unstable and messy. When the pieces of the puzzle finally fit, when everything suddenly makes sense, the pain felt before the much awaited happiness will all seem worth it in the end.

Cause I've been there, I could not understand why I had to open my eyes to see the sunrise. I had nothing to share such a beautiful day with, it was a waste to be alive.

So to those who are still searching for that reason to wake up every morning,
to those who are finding that hope to carry them through their days,
just know something,
keep holding on,
keep searching and
don't lose hope.

Hope. I know, where is the hope right?
Find anything, deep inside your heart.
Find a dream, find something that makes/made you smile
and just hold on to that
and keep fighting.

Because when you find that happiness,
your life will be a new kind of beautiful.

:)

Night Cycling

2009-03-05T03:57:00.005+08:00

With Ghaz and Maran.

Impromptu cycling with the 2 spastics were fun.
This was our route.
Maran and I cycled from West Coast to Jurong West (Ghaz's house)
3 of us cycled to a nearby Esso to pump air
Cycled to Lim Chu Kang Cemetery
Cycled to Jurong Town Hall Macs, ate
Cycled back to West Coast, down Pasir Panjang Rd
Cycled to Sentosa entrance, we didn't go in, in the end
Cycled down to Bukit Merah -> Queenstown -> Commonwealth
all the way back to West Coast
Reached West Coast at 630, returned bicycles

G tompang-ed me back home from West Coast on his bicycle
It was very funny.
I almost fell down a couple of times, our backsides hurt a lot.

But, I missed the 7am air and wind
Seeing the school children assembling in their school
Some running cause they were late for school,
that worried look on their faces as they alighted from the bus.
The prefects at the gates with a book in their hands
My goodness, I MISS SECONDARY SCHOOL.
There was just so much in that morning sky and wind that brushed against my cheeks as G cycled down the pathway.
A story formed in my head, with the memories that crawled back into my mind.

Yesterday was lovely.

"In the end, everyone ends up alone."

2009-03-02T04:14:00.003+08:00

Random pictures from Lavanya's 19th.

Random pictures from Wani's 21st.

"Missing you can turn from pain to pleasure if I knew you were missing me too."

2009-02-25T18:34:00.021+08:00

           lovelovelovelove
           lovelovelovelove
           love            love
           love            love
           love            love
           lovelovelovelove
           lovelove
           lovelove
           lovelove
           lovelove
           lovelove
           lovelove              ,

"So, if you're mad, get mad.
Don't hold it all inside.
Come on and talk to me now.
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too.
I'm a lot like you.

When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along,
cause even if you're wrong.

I'll stand by you."

two, just wanna be with you.

2009-02-20T01:39:00.004+08:00

Was studying in school today, again.

Better to study somewhere out of the house, with the right people or person :) I kept falling asleep, the afternoon sucks. I study better at night, more absorbing takes place. I was like forcing all the words down my throat in the afternoon. But I'm glad I didn't study at home. I would've fallen asleep till don't-know-when.

I just finished cramping everything in my brain. I haven't started on monday's paper. But I guess that's not much of a cause of concern right now. I got the weekends, I hope. Hmm..

I'm just going to take my mind off exams, for now, and read The Diary of a Wimpy Kid now. All the best to everyone who has exams tmr or who are studying for an exam! Study smart, drink lots of water and remember to have breaks in between. Don't kill yourselves.

It's always worth living.

I'm going to put my notes and textbook under my pillow.

AHAHAHA Don't ask me why. I've always done that.

Nothing to lose right?

Goodnight!

a little too not over you

2009-02-19T02:57:00.001+08:00

Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you,
you.

I got the book! :)

Books Galore!

2009-02-18T02:45:00.009+08:00

hello world.
Met P at the library to get some studying done. We were trying to find a seat with the stupid plug for my laptop. We settled for one without the plug. We saw the people at the plug seat packing up, so I asked P to go there and chop. Cannot be so obvious right, so he went to look at the books or DVDs or whatever that was near the plug seat. Then I think he really was engrossed in scanning the shelf that these 2 other girls got the seat before him. -_-" No comments.

I was studying and managed to get a few topics done. P couldn't concentrate at all. He has an attention span of a 1 year old kid. He would read or mumble one line of his notes and start playing his PSP. HAHAH. I still have the major topics left, die already. I don't need a distinction, I just want a pass. At the rate I'm going, don't know whether that is even possible. Oh well.

So I was getting way to hungry already, so we left abit earlier than planned and went to have our dinner. After that, we went to popular to scan the books. We love books. :) :) :) At Popular, we bought these 2 books. They're best-sellers leh.

I bought this one.

And P bought this one.

AND P, GOT ONE MORE BOOK TO BUY.

We didn't see this one. The book is really funny, it's so cartoonish with drawings. I love drawings like those.

Then we went to Harris and I fell in love with one book!
Words Fail Me - Teresa Monachino

NICE RIGHT?

SOMEONE, ANYONE BUY FOR ME?
Don't have to wait for birthday or special occasion, maybe just buy?
I REALLY LOVE IT AND I WANT IT.
Had so much fun at Harris, P fell on his butt! :))))))
I laughed damn hard. AIYOOO SOMETIMES..

After that, we went to meet Dinesh and Farook at their usual place.
Talked, prank called people and left for home.

I'm currently hooked onto 3 things.
1. David Archuleta - A Little Too Not Over You
2. Diary of a Wimpy Kid
3. You.

:)

2009-02-16T01:49:00.003+08:00

I'm fucked up.
Love me if you want to.
Love me if you can.

I'll return the favour

2009-02-09T16:42:00.003+08:00

"We're meant to lose the people we love.
How else will we know how important they are to us."

stay my constant.

2009-02-07T17:06:00.003+08:00

Things will never stay the same.

It'll never be monday forever.

Even day turns to night.

One second lost, is another second gained.

But that lost second, won't come back, ever.

It'll only be the seventh of February 2009 once, in this lifetime.

How many seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks have you lost?

How many of it have you lost being upset?

How many have you wasted?

How many potential moments have you thrown away?

When you get upset and start dwelling in it,

there are others who pull themselves out of misery and start living life again.

The world will keep turning.

Everything keeps changing.

When everything keeps changing,

will you be my constant?

it's my turn now

2009-02-05T16:41:00.003+08:00

I cannot.

I CANNOT.

I CANNOT!

This disease, is somewhat contagious,

only curable by the victim who is affected by it,

comes at the most unexpected and silliest times,

is caused by one small thing, or a million tiny things combined together.

As already mentioned,

the only way out of it,

is to help yourself out of it.

you're the one thing I got right

2009-02-04T00:14:00.004+08:00

There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye and now I know
How far you'd go

I know I let you down but it's not like that now
This time I'll never let you go

halo

2009-02-01T21:39:00.002+08:00

I tell you something damn classic.
Made me laugh like mad yesterday.

I was out with Abel, Banu, Kel and Aisha. So Abel, Banu and I went to buy tickets to the movie Bride Wars. By the way, I'll reccommend that movie. Very nice! Anyway, Banu likes to kachao me. So he was playfully insisting on sitting next to me. He asked me, get ready.. "Which hand you like me to hold, so I can sit on that side of you." HAHAHAH OMG.

Got somemore, he won't stop you know. I was sitting in between Abel and Banu. He showed me his hand and said, "If you feel lonely you can hold my hand. I'm here." HAHAHA. In that stupid irritating voice. He continued saying, 'I'll never let you go' then he blink blink at me. I really laughed out loud. I just leaned towards Abel and complained to him. But those 2 really very funny.

After the movie, we went to Marina Barrage. Took retarded photos, I think people there would've thought we were mad. Left barrage at at 2am and went for supper at Hakim. I was super tired yesterday. I'm waiting for the photos. :)

I feel so free! But I know what to do now.

you're everything I need and more

2009-02-01T18:09:00.000+08:00

"Why am I crying?"
She'd ask herself the same question every night.
She dug her face into her pillow,
hoping to stop the tears from flowing,
hoping to stop the pain from growing.
But she realised whatever she did,
no matter how hard she tried to smile and pretend that everything was okay,
at the end of the day,
she'd lie on her bed and hurt alone

Nobody understood her.
Nobody bothered to.
Nobody cared.
Nobody tried.

Her mornings were filled with regrets.
She regretted not hurting herself the night before.
She regretted all the promises made.
She regretted waking up.
She regretted living.

Her eyes were swollen and red.
Her head felt heavy, just like her heart.
With so much burden to carry at such a young age,
she found it hard to push herself out of bed and out of misery.

She looked in the mirror.
She covered her flaws with make-up.
She smiled.
She convinced herself that she was happy.
She lived in a lie.
She was in denial.

But that's the only way she gets through her days.

a song made me cry today

2009-01-31T02:02:00.002+08:00

So much anger

It scares me

So many lies

Hard to forgive

All I want is to trust you

All I want is to believe.

i'm the stupidest

2009-01-27T18:28:00.006+08:00

Finding myself wanting to die,
finding myself to be a pain,
finding myself to be undeserving,

Again.

some days, it's going to rain

2009-01-24T23:48:00.005+08:00

I INJURED MY THUMB.
Couldn't even catch the ball when my brother threw it to me. I can't type properly. I had training at 9am today. The guys were training for their soccer too. The sun was scorching hot. We had lunch and I only reached home at 430. My church youth were over at my house. The last 2, Banu and Abel, just left my house. We just lepaked and talked. I wanted to sleep cause I was so tired. I actually did fall asleep (for 2 minutes), but after awhile I wasn't sleepy anymore. I'm feeling bored now. I'm glad they came over, it was fun. Seeing old photo albums and just chillin'.

WHEN I SLEEP TONIGHT, I'LL SLEEP LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS. KAYBYE.

i miss skippy

2009-01-24T00:28:00.003+08:00

Today, a whole group of us were walking towards one of my friend's block.

1. We saw a 6 year old golden retriever. It was with its owner without a leash, probably cause it is so tame. We walked pass it and I just felt like pa tting it. After we walked pass it, we stopped to look at the dog. The dog stopped and came towards me and sat down infront of me. OMGGGGGGG. I think she knows that I love it. Her fur is really, I love that kind of fur. The colour of her fur was also so nice, light brown. My goodness. And it was freaking huge. It is like my dream dog. After it sat infront of me, I just had to sayang it. I talked to the owner and asked about the dog. I fell in love with it. I miss Skippy and I miss having a dog at home. I miss my little shadow that followed me everywhere (at home), sometimes even the toilet.

2. I have 3 retarded friends who think they are rappers. They pulled down their pants, till can see their boxers and danced to rap song. I tell you, it was like a music video. I laughed. So wasted that I didn't video it. It was really funny.

3. They were talking about the future. About our children, I think it's damn cool to think about how our future will be like with the same people we have in our lives presently. Knowing me, I wouldn't really believe that the people will last. But maybe, there's something about them that I'm trying to believe. There's something about them that makes me believe in something I haven't believed in a long time. But I know my future would be filled with colours, if I spent it with them.

ANYWAYYYYYYYY. I'm so freaking shagged. Did FP assignment till 315am last night. Woke up at 730. But thank God I had a friend who lived so near me and who was willing to send me to school. I just felt a load lifted of me. I feel happy that I managed to escape the damn stupid 9am jam. School was draining. Briefing after school. Came home at 12, I'm super tired. Training tomorrow at 9am. God bless you all.

perfect little punching bag

2009-01-21T01:02:00.004+08:00

Today was one of the most random days ever.

1. Breakfast with P in the morning.
2. Attended my class 10 minutes before it ended
3. School was as boring as ever
4. Mini helped me download a song!
5. Captain ball training
6. My toe hurts, still
7. Had dinner with maran at Clementi Macs
8. Met Joel under my block
9. Reached home at 12am, on the dot.

Number 8. Joel lives in Ang Mo Kio. Never in a million years would I expect to see him around my area. He attended this funeral at the block just opposite mine. When he told me he was there, I didn't believe. He told me all the things that were under the block, and then I had to believe him. I was still on the way home, so I met him under my block for awhile and we chatted. So random that boy.

I feel relieved. Usual Tuesday nights would be stressing over attachment, rushing to finish materials, staying up till 2 - 3am and be shagged for attachment on Wednesday morning. but this Tuesday is diffferent. I feel as free as a bird that just got let out of its cage. I love this feeling. I'm numb to the assignments. Tomorrow's attachment is just going to be plainly about slacking. So slack till I've time to blog on a TUESDAY NIGHT.

I can't get over that fact. HAHAH
Goodnight!

unfortunately,

2009-01-20T00:02:00.003+08:00

A random call that I received on Saturday afternoon, scared the shit out of me. It just changed my whole mindset of things and I'm seeing life differently now. This person called to ask a random question and consoled me that there was nothing to worry about.

This person is able to see things. He is able to see visions, not really read the future., But he is able to predict certain happenings. It's a step above dejavu. I've been a victim of his visions and it's no lie. He told me about many things that did happen before. Like deaths, people doing things that he said they'd do. It really has happened.

The thing that he talked to be about on Saturday was very troubling to me. I won't say that that thought has never crossed my mind, it definitely has. But I don't want such things to happen. It will happen. It's inevitable. But not so soon. I don't think my family deserves this. I don't think I deserve this. If anything tragic were to happen, I won't promise you that I'd be strong. Cause I probably won't be.

I think we've gone through just about enough.
Just grant me with a peace of mind.
I need it. Tonight.

I hope I'm really thinking too much this time.

extremes

2009-01-18T02:50:00.002+08:00

used to it
used to it
used to it
used to it

Isn't life full of it?
Full of getting used to everything around us.

There's no escape from all this.
So, just get use to the pain.
Just get use to it.

denial
denial
denial

Life is a mind game.

nothing else

2009-01-18T01:36:00.000+08:00

You know, in my course I'm taught not to compare children. Simply, cause every child is different and unique.

Similarly in our lives, we shouldn't compare ours with that of others. The things each of us go through are different. We come from different walks of life, we go through different experiences. Our beliefs and personalities are all different. So we can't compare, we shouldn't compare.

But if it makes you feel good, why not right.

-----

"Soompah."

It all lies in that one word, sometimes.

I'm sorry if that's the only way I trust you.

-----

More than my muscle aches, I think my toes hurt a lot.

I can't even walk properly.

I think because of the game yesterday, I hurt my toe.

Internally.

Maybe it's internally bleeding.

I just hope it doesn't fall off, like ABIGAIL'S HAHAHA.

I was staring at her feet the other day.

Nono, I was staring at her toes.

Cool ah. Okay, in a lot of pain.

Bye.

follow my lead

2009-01-11T23:49:00.003+08:00

My cousins.

That was on Thursday. I met Dionel in the morning to go to Choa Chu Kang Cemetery. He wanted to be retarded again, well. I have retards for cousins, so I just followed him. After that we went to meet Priya for lunch at JP. We had BK. Watched bedtime stories, for the second time. I fell asleep. Ate ice cream at macs, crapped, talked and laughed. AS USUAL. I'm glad I finally had some cousin lovin'.

Friday, I went for my make-up attachment. Met P after. We had lunch and went to school. There was some meeting. Saw my 2 cousins at the open house. Oh, we all did henna. Dinesh drew 3 stars at my ankle, it's damn nice. Maran has the same on his arm. I drew for P like 25% of his MUSE henna. Like cool only. After meeting we went to have dinner at KAP Macs. On the way back, Maran did a retarded gay face. P laughed until damn.. AHAHA. On the bus, Dinesh and Ghaz were being spastic with ONE word. So retarded till the 2 banglas sitting infront of them moved to the front of the bus. HAHAH.

Saturday night, went under my uncle's house for awhile. Met Vino and Tina at IMM for dinner. We ate at fish and co. Jojo's boyf was there. He gave us staff discount. HAHAHA. Whoohoo.

After that I decided to TRY to start on my learning corner materials. Just abit into it and P smsed that he was meeting the rest to go to Lim Chu Kang Cemetery. You know this people like to scare themselves. Then I smsed him saying that when he said that, I suddenly feel bored. Then he asked if I would like to come, so I went. They went to NTU's Art and Design school for awhile. My 4 childhood deprived friends rolled down this steep patch of grass. I should've video-ed it. It was damn retarded. Then they drove around LCK cemetery. Eh, I went to 2 cems in a week. Hmmm, not cool. Then we went to this abandoned estate. It wasn't that freaky. I think if the moon wasn't that bright that night, if it was darker, I would've been freaked. 4 of us saw things, and the only one who was dying to see something at the estate, didn't see anything at all. But nonetheless, fun.

Now that I read my previous post, I feel relieved. I've done my make-up attachment, I've done all my lesson plans. I'm not as lost as my previous entry. I've done my video recording, but only recorded only. Haven't done anything else. Learning corner materials still need to be done. Thinking about my Wednesday attachment, there's just too many things that keep popping up in my mind. After Wednesday, I think my life will be filled with rainbows and blue skies.

I've to get as much done tonight cause when the week starts, the assignments just roll in. There's an assignment due on Tuesday, but my group's starting on it tomorrow only. All the best to us. I know we can do it. : )

But tonight, I'm abit lazy. And there's a MANU and Chelsea match now. Byebye.

just dance

2009-01-06T02:22:00.005+08:00

School hasn't even started and I already hate school. I want to shut off all the assignments, but SORRY SARAH. This is reality and it's your responsibility and life for now. As the day to the first day of school draws closer, I can't stop hearing "START YOUR WORK SARAH" from this little voices in my head. Stupid assignments. I haven't even done make-up attachment. I've 3 lesson plans to implement. Oh, maybe 3 lesson plans to THINK about. GAAAAAWD. Learning corner. Video recording. This is my shit.

I'm living in the moment.
When it's time to worry, then I'll worry.
I'm mentally preparing myself.
I know I will regret it, but what the heck.

I'll somehow manage to do my work, right.

Why do I get this feeling that life isn't gonna get any easier.

dead and gone

2009-01-05T04:50:00.002+08:00

OH SHIT.
LOOK AT THE TIME OF MY PREVIOUS POST.
4 in chinese means die right.
I DIE ALREADY LA
REMEMBER I LOVE YOU ALL

monsters under my bed

2009-01-05T04:44:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I get scared in my own house. When I'm the last one to sleep, and I can hear nothing but the fan. Then I hear those sudden movements and I turn around but there's nothing there. Sometimes I will start imagining things just to scare myself. I'd keep turning around to look if there's anything there.

I think it's time I went to bed. My head hurts. I'm purposely blasting music now. I'm going to off the lights and run to my room. Know why?

That sometimes,
is now.

I don't get it.

2009-01-03T02:52:00.007+08:00

Why is it when I don't have that one thing, this other thing comes up. I won't call it coincidence. Because I know it isn't coincidence at all. These replacements come finding for me, I don't go finding for them. They come as a source of comfort to keep me occupied. But I don't need it. Seriously, I'm fine.

I don't want to runaway from the pain. I don't want to stop myself from feeling what I should feel even if it hurts. I don't want to be numb to anything anymore. I don't need to replace the absent. I rather face it, feel it, and try to somewhere in my heart be fine with it.

Maybe that's what I should get out of 2009. To start feeling the negative again. I need to feel before I get too used to being numb.

Want to know how I started my new year?

We got locked out of the house at 2 in the morning so we had to climb in through my brothers' room. Great. Hope everyone's enjoying/enjoyed their holidays. : )

2009-01-02T01:34:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Afraid it won't be enough

2008-12-30T01:27:00.001+08:00

Thank you for telling me things I needed to hear.

I remember 365 days ago,

how we argued close to every day of the last week of 2007.

How things can change in a year.

From nothing, to everything.

From arguing, to loving.

From you, to us.

Loverderyous.

I don't have the courage.

2008-12-29T00:14:00.001+08:00

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY DINESH!

----------

Lepaked at P's house after.

Goodnight.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T23:52:00.007+08:00

Caroling on 20th Dec.

For Bestffff. HAHA.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! :D

Picked Jana up from airport at 10 last night with the abang and swee. We went to eat and lepaked at Jana's house till 2am. Went back home, slept at 4am and woke up at 545am for Christmas Service at church. Went for breakfast with the guys and went home to sleep. Went to cousin's place for dinner. So funny, realised we all went to Genting on different dates. Could've all gone together. HAHAHA ahhwell.

Merry Christmas! :D

2008-12-22T05:30:00.004+08:00

This P gave me the link to my December'07 archives. He showed me my 11 Dec'07 post, where I made a list. Looking back, I've lost many and gained just as many people in my life. Every year, I make a wish to let the people who have helped me through that year to stay with me. Only some stay, the rest leave. Reflecting on 2008, only realising now that 2009 is just 9 days away, doesn't do anything to me anymore. A new year, so what. It's becoming a routine. It's like, every year we celebrate the pain and hurt that we'd be getting from the year ahead. Hmm, maybe it hasn't gotten to me yet, this whole festive mood. Not yet. It will.

Christmas is just 3 days away. I just realised that too. My Christmas for 5 years have been nothing but trying to feel what I felt when my Mom was around. She really bought the festive mood to the house. Christmas morning would be filled with song of praise blasting in the house. We'd wake up relunctantly, shower, get dressed for the Christmas service that would be so early in the morning, listen to my Mom's nagging (which I miss), say a little prayer as a family and leave for church. That was then, when the Christmas tree would be set up as a family. That was then, when we'd put decorations up and presents under the tree. That was then, when we'd go Christmas shoppng as a family, buying gifts for our cousins and new clothing for ourselves. That was then.

2008 has been great. I can say that I found myself, and I've learnt to be contented with life. This year would confirm end so much more happier than last. Turning 18 was one of the best thing this year, helped me through so much. I can't explain. Not about the age, but what came with it. Good or bad, that's what each and everyone of us have to face in life.

In 2008, I shared my journey of ups and downs with special people.
Brother, Swee.
Girlfriend, Abigail.
Sexy, Jaclyn.
My cousins, Dionel, Lina & Mel. LOL THATS ALL IM LEFT WITH?
(you all made it in my list again.)

Bestfriend, Azizah. :D
F4, Pratheep, Shamini, Rino.
Pisangs.
Mehmeh, Xingying
(Thank you for all your support and encouragement. Your randomness and how you sometimes acknowledge me on your blog, realy makes/made my day/s. Lots of love to you.)

I don't want to keep naming. Later I forget people. But you know who you are. Thanks for being there for me, when I needed you.

Another major thing that happened in 2008. My dog, Skippy, ran away. I tell you, it was really devastating. I remember not sleeping that night, I remember not being able to breathe, I remember getting nightmares before that actual event. Maybe it was a sign, come to think of it. But I remember 2 people who really helped me through. Pratheep, for bothering to come down and help me look for Skippy and Swee for making me laugh. I remember one person who pissed me off too HAHA, but it was at that time.

2008 was great. I've changed as a person. I've learnt to love myself, so that I can in-turn love others. Azizah has always been there. I don't know how to thank her. She makes me happy. So so very happy. I love her. Pamela and I will never stop flowing. We are still planning on writing that book, we've got tons of ideas. Talking to her seriously can make me feel so much better. Cause we laugh at what others would cry at. :)

I fell down Kent Ridge Park on May 2nd while cycling. Something I should remember too. How those 3 guys would still be my friend even after seeing me at my most ugliest-ever-felt state EVER. I remember when I went back to school after 2 days of MC, Pam and Wani will just run to me. Do you remember that?

Jolene, Joanna, Fiza and our project work. All the non-stop laughters and how we always know how to crap and somehow hand up the assignments on time. My Miss. Sun-filled-life, Miss. Dancing Queen and Miss. Superstar. :D

I can go on. Shamini is my clone. She gets me, all the time. We go through the same thing now, somehow. I just thank God that she's in my life. I've this feeling that we were destined to meet. Long story, but I'm glad that she's in my life.

You see,
It's not how long you know someone, but it's how much you know about someone.
Thank you all.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. (:

2008-12-20T01:43:00.007+08:00

If I'm crying out don't listen to it
It's only my heart, save yourself.

When everyone is against something, I am for it. When everyone loses hope in something, I see that hope. Somehow, it shines through just bright enough for me to see. (How ironic.) I'll stand up for things that are worth believing in.

I won't hide in my shell in the benefit of others. I won't let situations in my life be the butt of everyone's jokes. I won't. I'd walk to the right when everyone else walks to the left. I dare to give a different opinion.

Sometimes, I wish you would to.

-----

I watched Twillight with P today. It's good. But my younger brother says that I say that cause I didn't read the book. Eh, but whatever. HAHAH It was a good movie. I hate vampires, they're so white.
Danzation today! Jojo Pisang, GREAT JOB! Loveyouuuuuu. I'm so proud of her. Like mother seh.
Dinner with the bestfriend at KAP after. Went back with P and gang, met them at the bus stop.
Genting trip update soon. : )

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY NEO!
19th December 2008